popular thinking

I FEEL LIKE CHICKEN SELECTS: If people climb Everest because it's there, then why do people try to take advantage of corporate giveaways? Remember the guy who bought a lot of crap for the free frequent flier miles? I'm not that guy. But I am apt to do something silly when presented with the opportunity...

McDonald’s planned to give away four million free Chicken Selects over the weekend as part of a four-day nationwide promotion for the fast-food giant’s chicken strips.
How many could I eat?
The promotion began Thursday at the 13,700 Golden Arches, with anyone entitled to one free Chicken Select strip and dipping sauce between 11 a.m. and 2 p.m., one per day per location. I couldn’t visit all 13,700 locations, but McDonald’s online map showed that hitting up the nine McD’s between the Herald and City Hall was plausible. So, on behalf of college students, the Hub’s homeless and anyone on the hunt for cheap eats, I sacrificed my diet to test the promotion.
Don’t try this at home, because you couldn’t.
You had to go inside a McDonalds to get the free Chicken Select. Drive-thru patrons received a coupon for free fries and drink with a Chicken Select purchase.
The chain launched its seasoned, breaded chicken breast strips last summer with a big ad campaign during the Summer Olympics. McDonald’s -- current slogan of choice, “I’m loving it” -- claims Americans feel just that way about the new menu item.
But then, if everyone is all Wade Boggs about the Chicken Selects, why would Ronald McDonald and Co. feel the need to give it way, give it away, give it away now?
Thursdays test drive of the promotion found few Bostonians clamoring for chicken, and as the chain is wont to say, participation did vary among individual franchises.
A banner outside the Chinatown location (702 Washington St.) shows a Chicken Select with the words, become a believer. Inside, however, no signage promotes the freebie, and I have to ask twice to let them know I’m just there for my sample. It’s delivered on a napkin, without dipping sauce.
It tastes, well, pretty good, actually.
At 146 Tremont St. across from Boston Common, I also had to ask twice for my sample. The first time, the woman at the register wanted me to buy something with my chicken, she then asked her manager, who let me have my sample. But he also noticed my Herald ID, asking, “Are you going to write a review?” Note to self: Remove Herald ID.
He recommends trying the new chipotle BBQ sauce. A wise choice. The other sauces -- ranch, buffalo and honey mustard -- are OK but not as tantalizing as the chipotle BBQ. Did I just use the word tantalizing in relation to a Mickey D’s sauce?
Inside The Corner food court at Washington and Winter streets, the manager, apologized for not having Chicken Selects on his menu. He wishes he did.
A block north at 327 Washington St., the woman hands over the chicken but won’t share the sauce. “You want the whole thing?” she asks. “Just dip it in.” Sorry, not into communal dipping sauce at McDonald’s.
Things improve at One Union Street across from City Hall and Fanueil Hall. This location not only has its own table with freebies that include chicken and Powerade, but also has sisters Tafawni and Taneshia (yes, they are sisters and they are Sisters, but no, you don’t get their last name) hawking the goods. Over at South Station’s train terminal food court, they’ve also got extra help on hand walking around with trays of chicken and Powerade.
The locations at Boston Children’s Museum and South Station’s bus terminal food court don’t have Powerade samples but do have people eager to offer chicken without making you go to the counter.
That’s not the case at 58 Summer St., where the woman at the register rings up my non-purchase for reasons beyond comprehension.
The tally on my own one-day attempt to super size me: two miles round-trip, nine McDonalds stops, eight Chicken Selects for about 1,016 calories (oh my), two Powerade drinks, zero dollars.

Related: Find your nearest McDonald's.
Official press release from McDonald's about the promotion.