popular thinking

THE CREEPIEST ONSCREEN COUPLINGS, EVER

Onscreen couplings that make you say, 'Ewww' (Boston Herald)
“Rumor Has It" that Jennifer Aniston gets it on onscreen with her alleged birth father, played by Kevin Costner.
OK. Wait a second.
That’s a double ick - one for a romantic comedy (in theaters today) that has the gall to include scenes of implied incest for laughs, and another for having Aniston fall for the 50-year-old Costner. This is the second of the “Friends” to go dancing with the wayward old wolf (Courteney Cox rolled around with him in 3000 Miles to Graceland back in 2001). Watch your back, Lisa Kudrow.
But we’ve had to endure these creepy onscreen couplings before.
Witness these matches not made in heaven, but only in Hollywood.

What else can explain Natalie Portman?
Witness Portman (then 17) & Jake Lloyd (then 9) in Star Wars, Episode I: The Phantom Menace.
Or witness Portman (15 playing 13) & Timothy Hutton (36!) in Beautiful Girls.
Then again, better not.
Also best to forget these pairings, too.

Lea Thompson & Howard the Duck in Howard the Duck
Ick factor: Beauty and the beast.
A generation grew up with crushes on Thompson courtesy of “All the Right Moves” and “Back to the Future.” Imagine their collective fowl mood when they saw the 25-year-old actress in bed with Howard the Duck in this foul 1986 film. Did we mention Howard was a talking duck? From outer space? Suddenly, seeing Naomi Watts fall for a giant ape seems plausible.

Whoopi Goldberg & Ted Danson in Made in America
Ick factor: Not what we had in mind by making Whoopi.
Goldberg, until then known for comedy and supporting roles, landed her first leading role in this romantic comedy as a mother who learns that the sperm donor for her daughter is none other than Danson. Laughing yet? It gets ickier. Danson and Goldberg became a real-life couple following the 1993 film, culminating in his futile attempt to impress Goldberg with a public “blackface” routine. How romantic.

Catherine Zeta-Jones & Sean Connery in Entrapment
Ick factor: Generation gap.
And you thought we were going to cite real-life hubby Michael Douglas. No, Zeta-Jones found an even unlikelier match in Connery for the 1999 caper film “Entrapment.” Zeta-Jones was 30, Connery was 69. People magazine that year called him “Sexiest Man of the Century,” which he’d have to be to seduce someone young enough to be his granddaughter.

Winona Ryder & Richard Gere in Autumn in New York
Ick factor: Generation gap.
The plot for 2000’s “Autumn in New York” had Gere playing an aging playboy who falls in love with a young woman on the verge of dying. Gere was 51. Ryder was 29. At least they were cast correctly. That doesn’t mean we wanted to see them get steamy together.

Kelly Clarkson & Justin Guarini in From Justin to Kelly.
Ick factor: Two “Idols” don’t beat as one.
Back when American Idol was making its rookie run for glory on TV, Clarkson and Guarini became America’s sweethearts. Clarkson still is. Guarini, not so much. But after that initial season, someone had the bright idea to pair them in a 2003 musical called “From Justin to Kelly.” That person also probably owns and still listens to William Hung’s “Hung for the Holidays.”

Sharon Stone & Sylvester Stallone in The Specialist
Ick factor: Beauty and the beast.
We’ve been unable to erase the sincere displeasure of seeing Stone and Stallone naked, in a shower, having sex during this 1994 bomb. Because we cannot burn this image out of our heads, we’ve decided to share it with you. Happy holidays!

Dishonorable mentions: Dan Aykroyd and Rosie O’Donnell donning s & m outfits in “Exit to Eden,” Chucky and Jennifer Tilly in “Seed of Chucky,” Pauly Shore and Carla Gugino in “Son in Law,” Demi Moore and Burt Reynolds in “Striptease,” and in a special TV-only category, Brigitte Nielsen and Flava Flav from VH1’s very “Surreal Life.”