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KONG VS. KONG VS. KONG

A lot of people mistakenly believe that Peter Jackson's new take on King Kong is a remake of the 1933 original, when really, it's a new interpretation of the original screenplay. As soon as you watch both movies, you realize things are much much different. For one thing, Fay Wray never stopped shrieking at the sight of the big ape. For another, she did, as you pervy film fanatics know, show a lot of nip. But that's nothing compared to the 1976 reinterpretation of Kong. All three films do adhere to a few basics: ship and crew visit little-known South Pacific island, natives take blonde woman and offer her up to Kong, ship's crew rescues woman, nabs Kong, brings him back to New York City, which turns out to be a bad idea. That's the basic story. None of the Kongs ever disclose how the ship got Kong through customs -- did they have to bribe someone? The 1976 film is the only one depicting the trip back, and in those scenes, you cannot help but be reminded of the old Samsonite luggage ads of the day.

Here are some other differences:

Kong
1933: Has rage issues; revolutionary (for its time) stop-motion animation.
1976: Looks like a guy in an ape suit, because he was a guy in an ape suit.
2005: Lonely and bored; computer-generated but inspired by real-life Andy Serkis.

Romance
1933: None for Kong and Ann Darrow. She shrieks to the end. But Jack Driscoll (here only the ship's first mate) plays a dumb macho guy who somehow instantly falls for Ann, telling her "I love you" at the 37-minute mark.
1976: Dwan (what kind of name is that, anyhow?), played by Jessica Lange in her film debut, asks a horny Kong that trendy mid-70s question, "What's your sign?" And Kong
2005: Kong shows Ann the ocean sunset view, takes her "skating" in Central Park, protects her from dinosaurs and other creepy creatures.

Odd pop culture reference
1933: Filmmaker Carl Denham wonders why every movie needs a flapper.
1976: Dwan, found floating at sea in a life raft, says she was saved by "Deep Throat."
2005: Ship's crew apparently has a "Heart of Darkness" book club.

Dinosaurs
1933: Dino killed easily by the crew, who seem neither shocked nor scared to see a prehistoric creature.
1976: None
2005: Makes the running of the bulls look like a bad walk through Jurassic Park

Kong's death
1933: Bumpy
1976: Bloody
2005: Poignant



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