popular thinking

FALL FILM PREVIEW: I took part in our newspaper's seasonal look at mainstream cinema with this look at some of the, well, how does one put it diplomatically, less-than-original offerings coming to a cinema near you. The list below doesn't even include the many remakes and adaptations in the Hollywood pipeline.

Ah, autumn. Seasons change, leaves change, and yet the latest crop of Hollywood movies manages to look all too familiar.
We can picture how several of these fall films got pitched to the studios (cue the flashback)...

Underclassman: Nick Cannon plays a detective who goes undercover at a high school. Cannon claims he came up with the story by himself, but we remember 21 Jump Street. Cannon ain't no Johnny Depp. (Opened Friday.)

A Sound of Thunder: A guy goes back in time to hunt dinosaurs (The Lost World: Jurassic Park) but steps on a butterfly, and before you can say The Butterfly Effect or remember Homer Simpson's Halloween episode, "D'oh!'', all humanity will cease to exist unless, of course, another crew goes back in time, Terminator style, to save us all. (Opened Friday.)

The Exorcism of Emily Rose: Reportedly based on the true story of a German girl who died in 1976, but that was three years after Linda Blair's head-spinning turn in The Exorcist. Methinks we would've remembered hearing about a devil girl in 1976, especially if she were German. Just saying. (Opens Sept. 9.)

The Man: Let's match up a dorky white guy (Eugene Levy) with a cool black federal agent (Samuel L. Jackson) and watch the hilarity ensue. This rips off too many mismatched-buddy-cop flicks to even try to start a list. (Opens Sept. 9.)

Just Like Heaven: It's like Ghost only with strangers (Hearts and Souls) who forge an unlikely supernatural romance (Chances Are). (Opens Sept. 16.)

The Thing About My Folks: Think Nothing in Common, only with Peter Falk and Paul Reiser in the roles played by Jackie Gleason and Tom Hanks 19 years ago. (Opens Sept. 16.)

Flightplan: Jodie Foster loses her daughter on the maiden voyage of an airplane that she designed, which somehow manages to combine Panic Room, Titanic, Hitchcock and The Twilight Zone into one concept. (Opens Sept. 23.)

Serenity: Joss Whedon turns his failed TV show Firefly into a big-screen blowout. (Opens Sept. 30.)

Into the Blue: You liked Jacqueline Bisset in The Deep? Great. Now replace her with a bikini-clad Jessica Alba. What, no T-shirt? (Opens Sept. 30.)

Waiting . . .: Bored chain restaurant employees amuse themselves, which means, yes, this is a ripped-off spinoff of Office Space meets Fast Times at Ridgemont High. (Opens Oct. 7.)

Get Rich or Die Tryin': 50 Cent's 8 Mile. (Opens Nov. 9.)