REVIEWING THE VMAS: MTV's annual Video Music Awards have begun, and already I have the funny feeling I've seen this somewhere before. Ah, yes, that's right. If I've said it once, then I'll say it again. MTV's live productions always remind me of those two episodes of
WKRP In Cincinnati, when Dr. Johnny Fever tried hosting a TV disco dance show under the name Rip Tide, and revealed everything to be so fake, fake, fake. That's what I keep thinking watching this pile of junk. During the pre-show portion, the VJs whored out for the Gap and every carmaker in town, and showed that they don't know what's going on in music -- one VJ asked Kelly Clarkson what her latest single is about (isn't a highly-paid MTV personality supposed to keep up with music?) and then another VJ showed she was clueless about Gwen Stefani's comings and goings. Even Jay-Z cannot bring himself to call Sean Combs anything other than "Puffy." And why did Lindsay Lohan and Jessica Simpson have to scrounge for scraps as clothing for the show? And why is it supposed to be a big deal that MC Hammer is performing? Reminds me of the very special surprise a few years ago when Axl Rose and his new form of GnR stunk up the joint. Now R. Kelly is doing his Meat Loaf impersonation with another rambling spoken-word chapter of his
Trapped in the Closet. If I didn't need to watch this, I wouldn't. Too bad they'll be replaying all of this junk several more times this week.