popular thinking

THE 2004-LETTER WORD, HYPE: Well, well, this year that wasn't all it was cracked up to be is almost, finally, thankfully over. And that brings us to the alternate selection for word that sums up the year -- for those of you who prefer a word suitable for chanting by large and small gatherings alike, that word would be overrated. Say it with me now: Overrated.

When you peruse all of these year-in-review craptaculars in print or over the airwaves, aren't you struck by how much this year didn't live up to expectations? From beginning (Britney Spears got married, then didn't, then oops, she did it again/and then there was Bennifer, which wasn't, until it was again but in a different form) to end (What will Kobe and Shaq do when they see each other on Christmas? Short answer: No one really cares.), 2004 really didn't live up to its own hype. It was perhaps the most overrated year since 1999, which still carries the top ranking in our modern history, thanks to that whole Y2K hysteria.

But back to summarizing 2004.

Sports: That whole Super Bowl halftime thing, as you may recall, was heavily hyped beforehand. Good thing, too, otherwise we might have missed something big. Before Shaq left Kobe, we had to endure endless Shaq vs. Kobe stories and Laker drama. Steroids in sports? Who knew? Who didn't is more like it. We had an Olympics, so we had to hear way too much hype about way too few athletes. Tiger Woods slumped, if you call winning $7 million on the course a slump.

Politics: We found WMD. No wait. Sorry. No WMD. Remember all of those people who were going to change the election? Howard Stern, P. Diddy, Vote for Change, Michael Moore, Ben Affleck. Nice going, fellas. Remember when Florida was going to be the next Florida, until Ohio took its place, only it wasn't Florida at all. And remember when the exit polls said Kerry would win, until he didn't. Then everyone pooh-poohed the exit polls, until a few hours later, when everyone said the election was decided by moral values, since those same exit polls said that, until people figured out that moral values didn't decide the election. Remember when Abu Ghraib was going to change U.S. policy, except nothing really changed, did it.

TV: This was the year everyone realized that to get everything you ever wanted in life, all you need to do is get on a TV show, or if that doesn't work, get yourself in the studio audience of a daytime talk show, because those people get free gifts, too. We stayed tuned for the "biggest boardroom yet!" which wasn't really that big, come to think of it. Actually, come to think of it, everything Donald Trump touches turns to hype. But other shows did it to us, like Survivor, which promises to shatter all of the rules in the first 10 minutes of its next edition. You won't believe the next Survivor, they promise. I'm betting I believe it. Some people thought it was a super big deal that a computer geek could keep winning on Jeopardy. The NBC and CBS anchors retired, which would be a big deal if the network news mattered to anyone, or if the anchors did more than stand in front of the news and read it to us. VH1 gave us Best Week Ever, which manages to show us just how much drivel we watched that week in the name of hype. Friends, Frasier and Sex and the City bowed out, and yet somehow, we managed to have something to talk about the next morning. SNL produced an all-female Weekend Update team, as if that's groundbreaking in some way for gender roles. Whoop-de-doo, people. Whoop-de-doo. How about some jokes? That would have been groundbreaking. We also had to watch Nick and Jessica and her little sis Ashlee all of the time, as if they had talent. Which would explain why their various other TV deals keep fading away from lack of interest. Paris Hilton was everywhere and still had nothing to offer the world except her oral skills. That's hot. And by hot, I mean, not really. Jay Leno gave 5 years notice of his retirement. Thanks, Jay. Appreciate that.

18-year-olds: Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen turned 18. So did Lindsay Lohan. That means perverts can think about having sex with them without getting arrested for statutory rape. Instead, they'll get arrested for stalking. Good. I get it. And the Olsen girls' talent is what, again?

Movies: See Alexander, Troy, Shark Tale, I, Robot, The Day After Tomorrow, Fahrenheit 9/11, The Passion of the Christ, The Stepford Wives, Van Helsing and Catwoman. Then again, don't. You wasted your time.

Music: Jay-Z retired. Or did he? Just playing, playa. I can't believe I just typed that. Sorry. Want to know what to do with Eminem's new CD: Just lose it. No, really. Lose it. Listen to his other raps.

I could go on and on and on some more, but really, I'd much rather just get on with it and bring on 2005. I'm ready for a fresh start. How about you?

(blogger's note/confession: I probably will go on just a little bit more about the year that was 2004 with some positivity in the form of my favorites in music, movies and the like, so if you're curious about what didn't completely annoy me this year, stay tuned. Thanks for your patience. Happy New Year!)