popular thinking

The temperatures and humidity might be creeping upward again here in the so-called Valley of the Sun, but I think we can, once and for all, put an end to the sham of a mockery of a sham that is "monsoon season." Especially with Florida preparing for its third hurricane in less than a month (that would be Ivan, for those of you keeping track). Now there is a place with seasonal weather problems. Arizona? We have heat here. But local meteorologists persist with the myth that Arizona has a monsoon season.

monsoon: n., a seasonal wind of the Indian Ocean and S. Asia, blowing from the southwest from April to October, and from the northeast during the rest of the year; the season during which this wind blows from the southwest, characterized by heavy rains; any wind that reverses its direction seasonally or blows constantly between land and adjacent water

Rule o' thumb...if you have to use the third definition, you're already in trouble, especially when people associate monsoon with heavy rains, not a little wind gust now and then. In the Phoenix metro area, we had a few nights of thunderstorms and a couple of days of dust storms this summer. That was it. People in Bangladesh have to survive monsoons. In Arizona, it's more like dealing with Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody: "Thunderbolts and lightning, very very frightening, weeeeee!" And when we do get hit by a big storm, the TV people don't even call that a monsoon. Instead, they call it a microburst. Sounds like a midget having an orgasm -- which also is dangerous. Please stay indoors.