popular thinking

You'd think by now, everyone in America would realize that the term "reality" describes the new wave of TV shows about as accurately as the term "grunge" covered the Seattle sound of the 1990s. So let's stop beating around the George W. and redefine our contemporary television world. Here are the shows and the categories to which they truly belong...and don't mind that sinking feeling, some of these shows did air, no matter how much you tried to forget them.

CANDID CAMERA REDUX: Candid Camera, Oblivious, Punk'd, Scare Tactics, Spy TV
COPS AND COURTS: Cops, The People's Court, Divorce Court, Texas Justice and any show with a Judge in the title
DOCUDRAMAMINE (soap operas of nobodies doing nothing but since they're on camera, they'll fight enough to make you seasick): Airline, Amish in the City, Big Brother, Blow Out, The Casino, Colonial House, The Family, Family Plots, Forever Eden, Fraternity Life, High School Reunion, My Life is a Sitcom, Paradise Hotel, Real World, Road Rules, Sorority Life, Starting Over, Wife Swap, Trading Spouses
GAME SHOW-OFFS: The Amazing Race, The Apprentice, Big Brother, Beg Borrow & Deal, The Benefactor, The Billionaire, Boot Camp, Celebrity Mole, Dog Eat Dog, The Family, Fear Factor, The Mole, Survivor, Who Wants to Be a Millionaire
HOME IS WHERE THE SHOW IS: I'm too tired to even try mentioning every single half-hour dedicated to redecorating or selling someone's house, or their garage, or their motor vehicle.
HOT TUBS, COLD HARD CASH (the new new dating shows): Anything For Love, Average Joe, The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, Blind Date, Boy Meets Boy, Cupid, Elimidate, Extreme Dating, The 5th Wheel, For Love or Money, Forever Eden, Joe Millionaire, The Littlest Groom, Looking for Love: Bachelorettes in Alaska, Love Cruise, Married By America, Meet My Folks, Mr. Personality, My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance, Outback Jack, Paradise Hotel, Playing it Straight, Shipmates, Temptation Island, Who Wants to Marry My Dad, Ultimate Love Test
PR-EALITY (celebrities who want to maintain or regain their rich and famous lifestyles by whoring themselves to TV): Anna Nicole Show, The Apprentice, The Ashlee Simpson Show, The Benefactor, The Billionaire, Celebrity Boxing, I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here, Newyleds: Nick and Jessica, The Osbournes, The Restaurant, Rich Girls, The Simple Life, The Surreal Life
WE'RE LAUGHING AT YOU, NOT WITH YOU (also known as parody): Anna Nicole Show, Are You Hot?, The Assistant, Celebrity Boxing, Joe Schmo, The Littlest Groom, The Real Gilligan's Island/Partridge Family/Beverly Hillbillies, Showbiz Moms, Superstar USA
WHEN YOU WISH YOU ARE A STAR (talent shows for the talentless and lotteries/sweepstakes winners): All American Girl, American Idol, American Juniors, America's Next Top Model, Are You Hot?, The Contender, Dream Job, Extreme Makeover, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, Last Comic Standing, Nashville Star, Next Action Star, Next Great Champ, Performing As...,Project Greenlight, Search for the Most Talented Kid in America, Second Chance: America's Most Talented Senior, Star Search, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, The Swan, 30 Seconds of Fame

Note: Some of these shows fit in more than one category. And if I missed one, or you have you have your own nominations, let me know. Thanks!