popular thinking

So it's another results night tonight for the final 8 on American Idol, and everyone with a case of real and/or mock outrage about Sanjaya Malakar and his continued presence on the show needs to get a grip. No. Really. You act as if this has never happened before! You need to take a trip with me in the Not So Way Back Machine for some Idol reminiscing...

2006: Season 5
Remember Kevin Covais? He of the "Chicken Little" nickname? He made it to 11th on the show, despite having precious "little" vocal range -- actually, it was probably how precious he looked that kept him around that far, but really, why Simon, Paula and Randy let him advance as far as he did must make you wonder. But then again, Bucky Covington? Bucky couldn't sing anything outside of the country music genre. His official bio admitted he lacked any vocal training. He had a twin brother who got almost as much air time by the end. And that end was 8th place. Eighth. Just as long as Malakar so far.

2005: Season 4
This was the year that Vote for the Worst really got its groove going, trumpeting Scott Savol -- a guy who looked like he was more than one woman's baby daddy on his bad days (and had a criminal record for domestic abuse) -- and getting him through to May sweeps, where he finished in 5th place. When Savol advanced ahead of Constantine Maroulis, fans launched an online petition demanding a recount. Runner-up Bo Bice also had a criminal record. Earlier that season, Idol producers rebroadcast an entire show and held a new vote after botching the phone numbers for three of its then-11 finalists. Executive producer Ken Warwick told reporters (including me) in a conference call: "After four years of everything being perfect, you just take your eye off the ball for a second.'' Um, not quite perfect. Considering finalist Mario Vasquez mysteriously left the show (he has recently been accused of sexually harrassing a male Idol employee!) before that revote, we're not buying it. Plus Warwick glosses over and pretends past imperfections never happened. Which leads us to...

2004: Season 3
A power outage in contestant Jennifer Hudson's hometown of Chicago may have cost her last year's Idol. No revote occurred. Hudson gets the boot (later gets an Oscar!), while Elton John accused Idol's voting methods of being racist, and Fox confirmed it had a policy to combat so-called power-dialers from stuffing the ballot box. Nevertheless, 17-year-old Jasmine Trias lasts all the way to third place -- THIRD! -- thanks not to her sweetheart smile but (if you're to believe the story) most of Hawaii voting for her en masse. Hudson finished in seventh. Sixth place that year went to 16-year-old red-head John Stevens, who, much like Sanjaya, had a similar slight crooner singing voice. In fact, that's all Stevens really had. Crooning. Gentle crooning. So if Sanjaya beats out LaKisha this week or next, it'll be just like 2004 all over again. Don't say you weren't warned.

2003: Season 2
Before he was claiming an affair with Paula Abdul, finalist Corey Clark was busy getting disqualified in ninth place because he faced assault charges. Idol gave the other eight singers a pass to the next week, despite some questionable singing. Fellow finalist Trenyce also got a free pass then, even though her previous theft conviction never came up when she told Idol she couldn't think of a most embarrassing moment. She still finished fifth. Two other semifinalists that year got the boot. Frenchie Davis could have won if not for topless photos she posed for years beforehand, while semifinalist Jaered Andrews was knocked out for his involvement in a fatal fight. And then, of course, there was the famous finale in which host Ryan Seacrest jumbled up the still-unknown vote totals, prompting fans to whisper and form conspiracy theories about who really won: Ruben Studdard or Clay Aiken?

2002: Season 1
If you've caught any episodes of American Idol Rewind, the syndicated do-over of the original season, then you probably wonder how in the heck we got the finalists we got. And you saw that Tamyra Gray pulled off the "And I'm Telling You, I'm Not Going" cover trick long before Hudson or LaKisha or any of the other wannabes. And then you remember how you voiced a certain outrage when she went from frontrunner to fourth place in an instant. Kelly Clarkson has managed to have a great post-Idol career. But that original season also brought us the less-than-perfect, wholly forgettable movie, From Justin to Kelly.

Now you're all caught up. Try not to be too shocked tonight, no matter what happens.

Labels: American Idol, TV