popular thinking

File this not-so blind item under Too Much Information...

Pho Republique (good spot for late-night Asian-inspired bites and conversations with bartender Peter) always makes for a lively scene. The other night, one woman celebrating her birthday mingled about the restaurant, sharing her cake with anyone and everyone. But the two women next to me seemed to be in their own world -- one minding to the other, who clearly had plenty of things on her mind and wanted to share them. The clearly inebriated one kept looking at her cell phone and thumbing text messages, or making faces and sending grunts toward the bartender, or delivering non sequiturs about "staying away from rock stars" and wanting to be in Chicago. When she went to the restroom, her friend picked up her cell phone and thought about hiding it. Instead, she scanned through the sent calls and messages to see if the drunk woman was trying to reach her "rock star" man or ex-man. There were calls to Martin and Marty.

Being able to put 2 and 2 together and not get 22, I made an educated guess and told the two women that I knew their "rock star" and didn't think he counted as a rock star since he didn't win the show.

The women began laughing uncontrollably. I had guessed right. But they asked me a couple of questions so they could make sure. "Why do you think we're talking about?" they asked. I told them that Marty isn't exactly a common name for a rock star, and if he's from Chicago, then there's really only one person that could possibly be. "Do you know him?" they asked. No, I replied, but I had seen him live opening for the real "rock star" and INXS at the Wang. They laughed some more. They wanted to know what I thought of him. I told them. He looks like a bird, especially when he's dancing. They laughed even more. His songs are OK, but nothing spectacular. Obvious why INXS chose JD Fortune instead.

And shortly thereafter, the drunk woman said suddenly: "He's average size."

Her friend and I had the same shocked look on our faces. Wha? Huh? You're telling us this why?

I never did learn what the drunk woman considers "average size." And I never did learn what she saw in him. And if you're still wondering, she was talking about this guy. Yes, that guy.