popular thinking

CELEB-REALITY SHOWS WE REALLY WANT TO SEE

Reality check awaits ambitious celebs (Boston Herald)
By Sean L. McCarthy
Celebrities are just like us.
So says this month’s TV offerings, which have them trying ballroom dance (season two of “Dancing With the Stars” starts at 8 tonight on ABC), ice skating (“Skating With Celebrities” debuts Jan. 18 on Fox), losing weight (“Celebrity Fit Club 3” on VH1) or mocking “The Bachelor” (25 “real”women compete to date Flava Flav on “Flavor of Love,” also on VH1).
TV also already proved that some stars cannot croon (“But Can They Sing?”), cannot survive a fake jungle (“I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here”) and cannot live together (“The Surreal Life”).
When will the networks put celebrities in situations we’d actually want to watch? Maybe they should consider one of these pitches:

“Celebrity Olympics: Double Luge Edition”
Premise: NBC bolsters coverage of next month’s Winter Olympics in Italy by having stars lay atop actual lugers for the 80 mph run down the slopes.
Contestants: Nathan Lane, Will Ferrell, Larry David, Mr. T, John Goodman

“Gorgeous Gorging”
Premise: Since Takeru Kobayashi’s record of eating 53.5 hot dogs and buns in 12 minutes cannot be beaten, we might as well have some fun at this year’s Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest.
Contestants: Nicole Richie, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, Kelly Ripa, Paris Hilton

“Drafted for Success”
Premise: Celebrities join the war effort in Iraq. No, really. They join the armed forces serving in Operation Iraqi Freedom. Series finale TBA.
Contestants: Sean Penn, Susan Sarandon, Tim Robbins, Barbra Streisand, Martin Sheen

“Do Like My ’Do?”
Premise: Stars get behind the stylist’s chair and duplicate their hairdos on fans. Each week’s losing celebrity gets his/her head shaved.
Contestants: Jennifer Aniston, Donald Trump, Halle Berry, Farrah Fawcett, George Clooney, Cameron Diaz, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Jennifer Lopez, Meg Ryan

“Paparazzi Prize Patrol”
Premise: Stars on a photographic scavenger hunt go for big cash prizes. First task: See who can get visual evidence that Katie Holmes really is pregnant. Prize money doubles for childbirth footage.
Contestants: James Van Der Beek, Michelle Williams, Joshua Jackson, Kerr Smith, Meredith Monroe, Chris Klein