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GO SEE DJ HAZARD: Don't expect jokes about the Emmys, hurricanes, politics or anything current when DJ Hazard records his new stand-up comedy CD this weekend at The Comedy Studio in Cambridge.
"I tend not to have anything topical, anyway,'' Hazard said. "It takes me a long time to figure out what to say about something or somebody, and then when I do figure out what to say, they're dead.''
Or out of the public eye.
"Even the current administration, you'd think you have eight years to write something. Not me. I'd shy away from writing jokes about George W. Bush because he's a lame-duck president, and three years from now, these jokes won't work. Why bother?''
Truth be told . . .
"I'm lazy,'' Hazard confessed. "I write a bit, and it's like, OK, this is good for 10 years.''
Hazard has been making New Englanders laugh for longer than that, as a founding member of the Ding Ho Club. Louis CK cited Hazard as an influential mentor.
"Somebody said to me, 'Wow, you're like a raw naked nerve on stage. You perform like it's your last show ever.' I do. I always hope that it is my last show, that I'll get offstage, some wall will open up and aliens will say, 'You've done well. You've passed the test.' There'll be gobs of money, showgirls, a big throne, turkey. There's got to be turkey.''
Turkey?
"The nice thing about turkey is tryptophan,'' he said, referring to the protein chemical that puts people to sleep. Hazard calls it "God's gift,'' but wonders, "Why don't turkeys just fall asleep standing up? They're made of turkey!''

DJ Hazard, the official site.

DJ Hazard records a new comedy CD this weekend at the Comedy Studio, above the Hong Kong restaurant, 1236 Massachusetts Ave., Cambridge, tonight and tomorrow at 8 p.m. Tickets: $9. Call 617-661-6507.



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