popular thinking

I've been struggling, struggling with sluggishness this week. So sorry. Wish I could blame the whole thing on dioxin poisoning, but former KGB agents usually stay away from guys named McCarthy. And it's not a flu shot problem. Perhaps I am suffering from a rare parasite known as the red tapeworm, as bureaucratic paperwork (and the waiting for same to be received, then processed) takes its toll on my psyche, thereby rendering me delusionally depressed, which prompts the onset of severe fatigue. Or I could be hallucinating again. I need to get out of the house more often.

That said, it's time to catch up on all sorts of madness...

-- CBS has picked up two more installments of Survivor, which isn't at all surprising, although we'll actually see three more Survivors, since the pickups were for seasons 11 and 12 (season 10 forthcoming from Palau). Nor was it much of a shock to find that more viewers tuned into ABC's Desperate Housewives than to the final tribal council of Survivor: Vanuatu. How could the guy who shoulda coulda woulda been voted first off the island wind up winning? The show has gone from outwit to nitwit. But I'll probably still watch the Palau debut anyhow. What does that say about me?

-- Fake News Headline of the Week: Blockbuster Ends Late Fees
Don't any headline writers pay attention anymore? The video rental chain didn't end late fees. Rather, the chain hiked the fees by deciding to charge delinquent renters the entire cost of the video. Renters would have to bring the video back by a certain date to save face (and money). Even then, customers would be charged restocking fees, as the Boston Herald and others note.

-- The Golden Globe nominations are in, and everyone rushed to talk about what it means for Oscar buzz. Well, let me tell you what it means: Nothing. Nada. Zero. Unless the Academy Awards decide to split major film categories into comedies and dramas, and unless the Academy voters start having the same tastes as the foreign press, then you can just sit back and enjoy the Golden Globes for what they are -- a fun party where actors and actresses actually let their guards down. Although if you're Tom Cruise, you should be worried. If the foreign press doesn't love you anymore, then forget about wooing Oscar. He'll be a grouch. Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to type that out loud.

-- I was surprised by the ending to the third edition of America's Next Top Model on UPN. OK, so I played catch-up here, too, thanks to this weekend's marathon on VH1 (although I still think VH1 and MTV and MTV2 need to be flogged). Thought for sure that Yaya would win. Maybe Tyra Banks was too scared to anoint someone who looks just like her in certain photos. Oh well. What do I know about modeling? Hey, you in the peanut gallery with access to my personal history, you can stop your giggling right about now. Really. You can stop with the giggling. Thank you.

-- Hadn't we determined that we were tired of watching The Bachelor? So what gives with WB's college version, called Big Man on Campus? Everything is the same, simply transplanted to the campus of the University of Central Florida. Then again, my cynicism is warranted, since the show's executive producer is Mike Fleiss, the man behind The Bachelor.

-- Wal-Mart really has painted itself into a censorship corner. Proclaiming yourselves the mega-family-friendly department store chain will come around and bite you on your bippy. Case in point: The family in Maryland suing the chain for deception by selling an Evanesence disc that includes "bad words." I'll have more to say on this later. Not too much later. Don't worry, my pretties.